You may have grown up living with lots of siblings, or this may be your first time sharing your living space with someone else. While having one or more roommates inevitably has its challenges, it can also be a great part of your college experience. Follow these ten tips to make sure you and your roommate(s) keep things pleasant and supportive throughout the year (or even years!)
1. Be Clear About Your Expectations From the Beginning
Do you know in advance that you hate it when someone hits the snooze button fifteen times every morning? That you need ten minutes to yourself before talking to anyone after you wake up? That it bothers you when there are clothes on the ground or furniture? Be transparent about your habits and preferences. It's not fair to expect your roommate(s) to read your mind. Communicating what you need is one of the best ways to eliminate problems before they become problems.
2. Address Problems When They're Little
Is your roommate always forgetting their stuff for the shower, and taking yours? Maybe they just can't remember to take out the trash, leaving you to do it every time. Addressing little problems earlier on with clear and calm communication can keep them from snowballing and help avoid conflict with your roommate(s) down the road.
3. Respect Your Roommate's Stuff
This may seem simple, but it's probably one of the biggest reasons why roommates experience conflict. Don't think they’ll mind if you borrow their cleats for a quick soccer game? For all you know, you just stepped over an uncrossable line. Always get permission before you borrow your roommate's personal belongings. They could be totally fine with it, but it never hurts to ask.
4. Be Mindful of Who You Bring Into Your Room—and How Often
While you may love studying in a group, your roommate may not. Be mindful of how often you bring people over. If your roommate needs quiet to study, and you thrive in a group, create a plan to share your space so that you both have time to create the environment you need without disrupting the other. Maybe you alternate who hits the library and who gets the room? Make sure you’re on the same page. Again, it's all about communicating your needs and respecting theirs.
5. Keep Your Stuff Safe
While it may be rare, theft does happen whether you're living on or off campus. You may think it's fine to pop out for a snack without locking your door because you'll "be right back", but remember, when you live with a roommate, you're responsible for helping keep their stuff safe too. Taking two seconds to lock the door behind you when you leave can help avoid worst-case scenarios and avoid blame or guilt that can negatively impact roommate relationships.
6. Be Friendly, Without Expecting to Be Best Friends
While it may happen, expecting you and your roommate(s) to be best friends puts unnecessary pressure on your relationship from the beginning and can lead to hurt feelings if you aren't on the same page. Start with a blank slate and an open mind. Even if you're soul mates, making your own friends in other social circles can help create important boundaries and build a healthy balance for how you're spending your time. It's also okay if your personalities don't click, you can still coexist as long as you're clear about your expectations and preferences.
7. Be Open to New Things
There’s a chance your roommate or roommates are from another state or country. Their traditions, religion, or lifestyle could be completely foreign to you. Be open and respectful to new ideas and experiences, especially as it relates to what your roommates bring into your life. That's why you went to college in the first place, right?!
8. Stay Open to Change
You should expect to be constantly transforming throughout college. And the same should happen to your roommate(s) if all goes well. Remember things will change for both of you. Be comfortable addressing things that unexpectedly come up, setting new rules, and being flexible to your changing environment.
9. Address Problems When They're Big, Too
You may not have been totally honest with tip #2, or you may suddenly find yourself with a roommate who goes wild after being shy and quiet for the first two months. If a big problem somehow comes up, address it head-on instead of allowing it to fester.
10. If Nothing Else, Follow the Golden Rule
The golden rule: treat others the way you’d want to be treated. That’s the best way to get along with your roommate(s). No matter what your relationship is at the end of the year, you can take comfort in knowing you acted like an adult and treated your roommate(s) with respect.
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